2007-10-22

纪念YouTube君

公元二零零七年十月二十日,就是中国千万网民为当天被封的YouTube君开追悼会的那一天,我独在网络上徘徊,遇见网友,前来问我道,"先生可曾为 YouTube写了一点什么没有?"我说:"没有"。她就正告我,"先生还是写一点罢;先生很喜欢看YouTube上的视频的。"

  这是我知道的,凡我用到的视频共享网站,大概是因为不方便之故罢,使用一向就甚为寥落,然而在这样的生活艰难中,天天使用的视频网站就有她。我也早觉得有写一点东西的必要了,这虽然于网站毫不相干,但在网民,却大抵只能如此而已。倘使我能够相信真有所谓"在天之灵",那自然可以得到更大的安慰,——但是,现在,却只能如此而已。

  可是我实在无话可说。我只觉得所住的并非人间。无数个网站的死联接,充斥着我的硬盘,使我艰于呼吸视听,那里还能有什么言语?长歌当哭,是必须在痛定之后的。而此后个所谓学者文人的阴险的论调,尤使我觉得悲哀。我已经出离愤怒了。我将深味这非人间的浓黑的悲凉;以我的最大哀痛显示于非人间,使它们快意于我的苦痛,就将这作为网民的菲薄的祭品,奉献于被封网站的灵前。
  二
  真的猛士,敢于直面惨淡的人生,敢于正视淋漓的鲜血。这是怎样的哀痛者和幸福者?然而造化又常常为庸人设计,以时间的流驶,来洗涤旧迹,仅使留下淡红的血色和微漠的悲哀。在这淡红的血色和微漠的悲哀中,又给人暂得偷生,维持着这似人非人的世界。我不知道这样的世界何时是一个尽头!
  我们还在这样的世上活着;我也早觉得有写一点东西的必要了。离YouTube被封也已有两天,忘却的救主快要降临了罢,我正有写一点东西的必要了。
  三
  在无数被封网站之中,YouTube是我的最爱。最爱云者,我向来这样想,这样说,现在却觉得有些踌躇了,我应该对她奉献我的悲哀与尊敬。她不是"苟活到现在"的无良网站,是被封死的优秀视频共享网站。
  她的姓名第一次为我所见,是在前年夏初的新浪网,介绍最好的视频共享网站的时候。其中的一个就是她;但是我不认识。直到后来,国内的网站也引用她的视频了,才找到她的联接,知道:这就是YouTube。其时我才能将姓名和实体联合起来,心中却暗自诧异。我平素想,能够不为势利所屈,公平客观的网站,无论如何,总该是有些华丽界面的,但她却很朴素,使用很方便。待到用上了宽带之后,才始经常使用,于是见面的回数就较多了,也还是始终朴素着,使用很方便。待到
x府把手伸向互联网,往日的网站,陆续被封的时候,我才见她的主页不能打开,甚为担心。此后似乎就不相见。总之,在我的记忆上,那一次就是永别了。
  四
  我在十八日下午,才知道上午有网站被封事;第二天,便得到噩耗,说所有联接都不能用了,全军覆没,而YouTube即在遇害者之列。但我对于这些传说,竟至于颇为怀疑。我向来是不惮以最坏的恶意,来推测中国人的,然而我还不料,也不信竟会下有残到这地步。况且始终朴素着的方便的YouTube君,更何至于无端在门前喋血呢?
  然而即日证明是事实了,作证的便是她自己的尸骸。还有一具,是hk.youtube.com的。而且又证明着这不但是杀害,简直是虐杀,因为所有联接全部被封。
  但就有令,说她们是"暴徒"!
  但接着就有流言,说她们是受人利用的。
  惨象,已使我目不忍视了;流言,尤使我耳不忍闻。我还有什么话可说呢?我懂得衰亡民族之所以默无声息的缘由了。沉默呵,沉默呵!不在沉默中爆发,就在沉默中灭亡
  五
  但是,我还有要说的话。
  我没有亲见;听说,她,YouTube君,那时是公正无私的。自然,搜索而已,稍有人心者,谁也不会料到有这样的罗网。但竟中弹了,
www.youtube.com被封,已是致命的创伤,只是没有便死。同去的hk.youtube.com,中了四弹,其一是手枪,立仆;同去的
www.youtube.fr君又想去扶起她,也被击,弹从左肩入,穿胸偏右出,也立仆。但她还能坐起来,一个兵在[208.65.153.251],[208.65.153.252],[208.65.153.253],
[208.65.153.250]猛击两棍,于是死掉了。
  始终微笑的和蔼的 YouTube君确是死掉了,这是真的,有她自己的尸骸为证;沉勇而友爱的hk.youtube.com君也死掉了,有她自己的尸骸为证;只有一样沉勇而友爱的altavista君还在医院里呻吟。当三个网站从容地转辗于文明人所发明的网络封堵中的时候,这是怎样的一个惊心动魄的伟大呵!屠戮妇婴的伟绩,八国联军的惩创学生的武功,不幸全被这几缕血痕抹杀了。
  但是杀人者却居然昂起头来,不知道个个脸上有着血污……。
  六
  时间永是流驶,街市依旧太平,有限的几个生命,在这是不算什么的,至多,不过供无恶意的闲人以饭后的谈资,或者给有恶意的闲人作"流言"的种子。至于此外的深的意义,我总觉得很寥寥,因为这实在不过是徒手的请愿。人类的血战前行的历史,正如煤的形成,当时用大量的木材,结果却只是一小块,但请愿是不在其中的,更何况是徒手。
  然而既然有了血痕了,当然不觉要扩大。至少,也当浸渍了亲族;师友,爱人的心,纵使时光流驶,洗成绯红,也会在微漠的悲哀中永存微笑的和蔼的旧影。陶潜说过,"亲戚或余悲,他人亦已歌,死去何所道,托体同山阿。"倘能如此,这也就够了。
  七
  我已经说过:我向来是不惮以最坏的恶意来推测中国人的。但这回却很有几点出于我的意外。一是竟会这样地凶残,一是流言家竟至如此之下劣,一是YouTube的搜索引擎竟能如是之方便。
  我目睹YouTube的办事,是始于去年的,虽然是少数,但看那干练坚决,百折不回的气概,曾经屡次为之感叹。至于这一回在封杀中互相救助,虽殒身不恤的事实,则更足为YouTube的勇毅,虽遭阴谋秘计,压抑至数年,而终于没有消亡的明证了。倘要寻求这一次死伤者对于将来的意义,意义就在此罢。
  苟活者在淡红的血色中,会依稀看见微茫的希望;真的猛士,将更奋然而前行。
  呜呼,我说不出话,但以此记念YouTube君!



纪念刘和珍君已经在教材里删掉了
过几年这种改写的文章会有很多人看不懂了


删掉了,大概那些审核教材的人看这篇文章会联想到别人事情吧。

2007-10-09

Love is special

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right person one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift. Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out you still care for that person. Life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so hard at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.

The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their hearts but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

There are things you'd love to hear that you would never hear from the person whom you would like to hear it from them from, but don't be so deaf as not to hear it from the one who says it from his heart.

Never say good-bye if you still want to try.
Never give up if you still feel you go on.
Never say you don't love a person any more if you can't let go.

Love comes to those who still hope although they've been disappointed to those who still believe although they've been betrayed, to those who still love although they've been hurt before.

It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone--but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Hope you find the one of your dreams.

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them out of your dreams and hug them for real! Hope you find the one who makes you smile.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you only have one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

Pray you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.

Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

Careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

The beginning of love is to let those we love be just themselves, and not twist them with our own image--otherwise, we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way.

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone else around you is crying.